ICK GEOGRAPHICA STUDY IN SUDDEN DISINTEREST
The documentary's heroine gives an unimpressed look in a sunlit forest

ICK GEOGRAPHIC PRESENTS

THE ICK.

STARRING YASMEEN · THE SAMURAI

A documentary.
Several men. No survivors.

Enter her habitat
FIELD STUDY № 001SCROLL TO OBSERVE HOMO SAPIENS. ALLEGEDLY.

ACT I / THE APPROACH

OBSERVATION 001

A hopeful
beginning.

Meet Yasmeen. Commonly known as The Samurai.
A woman looking for love.

Her requirements are simple. He should be funny. Attractive. Kind. Confident.

And, ideally, never do anything.

A man waves hello while she gives him a skeptical side-eye
FIG. 01 — FIRST CONTACTHe should have remained a concept.

Here we observe her spotting a potential mate. She smiles. She fixes her hair. For one beautiful moment, the future looks promising.

Then he approaches.

HIM“Hi.”

HER“Why did he say it like that?”

The relationship has ended before either party has learned the other’s name.

ACT II / AN UNFORCED ERROR

The breathing
incident.

Days later, a new candidate appears. He is handsome. Mysterious. Quiet.

An excellent recovery for the species.

Then, without consulting her,
he takes a breath.

INHALE.
ICK.
VITAL SIGNS DETECTED. UNFORTUNATE.
“I don’t know.
There’s just something about him.”

There is. A respiratory system.

CAUSE OF ELIMINATION

Continued dependence on oxygen.

ACT III / THE FAMILY REVEAL

OBSERVATION 003

A disturbing
discovery.

The next candidate survives the greeting. His breathing remains discreet.

Against all odds, they go on a date.

He is polite to the waiter. He asks thoughtful questions. She actually laughs.

At a cafe, she looks unimpressed as her date's cheerful mother appears
FIG. 03 — AN UNEXPECTED ORIGIN STORYHe had been born.
INCOMING CALLMum calling.One call. No second date.

HER FINAL STATEMENT

“Wait.
You have a mother?”

Researchers had overlooked a crucial detail. He had been born.

CAUSE OF ELIMINATION

Came from a woman. Embarrassing.

FROM THE RESEARCHERS’ NOTEBOOK

Small things.
Permanent consequences.

01

The little run

He jogs across the road because a driver lets him pass. He gives the driver a little wave.

She watches in silence.

He reaches the other pavement. Their future does not.

02

The hot drink

He orders a coffee. So far, a man of taste.

Then he blows on it.

Apparently, His Majesty needs his little beverage at a safe temperature.

03

The chair

He sits down. The chair makes a noise.

It was clearly the chair.

Unfortunately, he was involved.

04

The reciprocation

For three weeks, she thinks about him constantly.

Then he admits he likes her too.

A catastrophic lapse in judgment on his part.

THE ICKDEX / SPECIMEN CLASSIFICATION

LEGENDARY
№ 001

Ickosaurus
Selectiva.

Handsome. Funny. Theoretical.

APPROACH WITH
LOW EXPECTATIONS
Known as
Yasmeen · The Samurai
Habitat
The group chat, typing “guys…”
Diet
Redbull and a promising first impression
Special ability
Instant loss of interest
Weakness
A man who exists only in her imagination
Natural enemy
“Good morning, beautiful”
Ideal partner
Handsome. Funny. Theoretical.
Evolution
“Maybe I should give him a chance.”
Evolution cancelled
He used this emoji: 😊

INTERACTIVE / EXHIBIT A

Can he
survive?

Choose his next move.
Researchers are not optimistic.

ENCOUNTER 0010 / 4 OUTCOMES OBSERVED
AWAITING A CATASTROPHE

A man approaches. Nature holds its breath.

Four choices. Surely one must work.

INTERACTIVE / EXHIBIT B

Build her
perfect man.

The requirements are simple.
The man is increasingly hypothetical.

TESTIMONY / AFTER THE ENCOUNTER

They’re still
processing it.

“I said ‘hi.’ Apparently, my delivery lacked something.”
THE FIRST GUY
“I’ve been breathing for 27 years. Nobody mentioned a problem.”
THE SECOND GUY
“I’m not apologising for giving birth to him.”
HIS MOTHER
“We liked him. That should have been our first warning.”
THE GROUP CHAT

Dramatised testimony. The men remain confused.

FINAL ACT / A BREAKTHROUGH

At last.
The one.

Handsome. Funny. Perfectly dressed.

He never says the wrong thing. Never runs for a bus. Never blows on soup. No mother has been detected.

The researchers celebrate.

She skeptically inspects a mannequin wearing a tailored suit
THE CAMERA PULLS BACK.

He is a mannequin.

SHE STUDIES HIM FOR A MOMENT.

“Why is he
standing like that?”
ICK.
100%ICK LEVEL
0DAYS SINCE LAST ICK

Somewhere out there, her perfect man is waiting.
For his own sake, we recommend he stays there.

Give another man a chance

This decision can be reversed immediately.